I started a joke.
by Pepper Imp
Summary: Ron pens a letter for his favourite girl.
1. I started a joke

Title: I started a joke   
Author: Altricial (annabel@london.com)   
Rating: PG   
Pairing: Ron/Ginny   
Category: Slight incest   
Year: 1992 (Chamber of Secrets)   
Dedicated to: Aspen for being my Ginny. Also, special thanks to durendal for beta-reading 

* * *

Dear Ginny, 

Have you heard? They said you died today, said that a monster took you away to some place I can't see and they said you died. Said that your skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever. Some said it is You-Know-Who that did it. I believed them at first, sort of, but only because You-Know-Who can be very scary. Percy told us all about the Dark Times in summer, remember? I wasn't listening to Mister Bighead, of course, but I can't really ignore his efforts at being the most boring man alive when he won't bloody shut up, can I? So yeah, I know about what You-Know-Who can do and how he likes to kill the ones people love most and you are- It was a convincing joke, really. Harry thought so, too, because he looked all upset about it. Now, don't you go having silly ideas about Harry again, he's just nice to everyone like that. 

Lucky I figured out it was a joke fast or I'd have gotten mad and shouted at Dumbledore for nothing. I'd feel pretty silly losing house points over a joke, haha. It wasn't a very funny joke, though, I wonder who came up with it. It's almost like something that Malfoy git would think of, that good for nothing ferret fleabag. But I laughed anyway, just to be polite, you know? I hate it when people don't laugh at my jokes so I'll laugh at theirs so they'll shut up already. But McGonagall tried to send me to the hospital wing, said something about me being in shock! Can you believe her?! That woman is obviously barking mad, no sense of humour at all, honestly! I told her I was fine and that I know it was all a joke (for a Professor, she's not very bright, is she?) but she won't have any of that and shooed me straight off to see Madame Pomfrey. Bloody hell! 

Have you ever tried convincing her that you're perfectly well? It's impossible, I tell you! I told her I didn't need any whatever she was trying to feed me because I needed to get back to the dorms to tell you this stupid joke because I know you'd find it funny, too. You love listening to my jokes, don't you, Gin? Sometimes I make up jokes during Divination and scribble them down so I'll remember to tell you during lunch. Good thing that old bat Trelawney is too blind to read over my shoulder, hah! 

Where are you, Ginny? You're not in the dorm and no one will bloody tell me where you are. Hermione is still Petrified in the hospital wing and Harry is just not very good at getting jokes. Percy's eyes are all red, like how yours are like when you're being a big cry-baby, I really have no idea why. I hope he hasn't been crying or he'll be feeling even stupider than usual when he FINALLY figures out the joke with the rest of the bloody school. What is wrong with everyone today, now really! 

Aha! 

You're in on this dumb joke, aren't you! You'd better not be hiding somewhere doing that giggling thing, making me search the school for you, or you can forget about getting any more Sugar Quills when I'm at Hogsmeade next weekend, missy! 

Oh hang on, are you at detention with Filch again? You need to stop roaming around the castle after your bed-time, Gin. No point getting caught by Filch and then having to sit around scrubbing sodding rusty medals for hours just because you can't sleep! I know it's not the same as back home, I can't really sleep well without tucking you in either. But well, we're at school now. Anyway, I'm writing you this so you can read it when you're back. Besides, you girls like receiving letters, don't you? 

Good night, Ginny. And come back soon, so I can prove it to the rest of them (mental really, all of them) that it was nothing but a big, fat, unfunny joke. 

P.S: Don't bother playing hide-and-seek with me, Gin, you know I'll find you, I always do! 

Ron 


	2. I found you

Ginny! 

You came back! No wait, more like I FOUND you! Everyone was wrong, I bloody told them so, it was all a joke, I said you can't be dead and I was right! Okay so maybe it wasn't really a joke, but you're back and safe now, on the bed next to me in the hospital wing, aren't you? Oh, and guess what? That Lockhart git is a sodding fake! He didn't do anything he wrote in those stupid books of his (that only Hermione would've read), he stole them all of them from people and then used a Memory Charm on them, that disgusting liar! Can you BELIEVE that idiot?! Defence against the Dark Arts, my foot! Defence against Bad Hair Days, more like! Mind you, I'm not the LEAST surprised, I always said there was something not right about him, but did anyone believe me? Not one! So that's 1 million points to Ronald Weasley and 0 points to Hogwarts, HAH! 

I was the one who figured out the entrance to the Chamber is in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, you know? Although she wasn't very helpful at all, took bloody forever to tell us how she died, like I cared, honestly! There I was trying to get to you and she was just going on and on about her death like it was the most exciting thing that ever happened to her. I'm not surprised if it really is. If any ghosts need to be murdered for good, this one bloody does! If we've gotten to you too late because of her, I swear I'd turn her solid then flush her down that favourite toilet bowl of hers! 

Good thing Harry can speak Parseltongue and got the entrance to the Chamber opened. It must be nice, isn't it, to be able to talk to snakes. Then maybe I'd have been able to find you myself, to be your hero. Just like how we used to pretend you were the princess and I was the knight to save you from the evil overlord, remember? But all thanks to that Lockhart, Harry had to go look for you alone because I was trapped behind a stonewall with that sod. He very stupidly used my broken wand to cast a Memory Charm on me which backfired and threw him against the rocks that came crumbling down. Sad case can't even remember his own name now, serves him right, I say! 

I'm so glad you're back, Gin, you have no idea how scared I was. Not many things in this world can scare me, you know. But I was scared, more scared than when Fred turned my teddy bear into a spider, even more scared than when I came face to face with Argog and that thing is the size of a Hippogriff! There were animal bones all over the Chamber floor... I knew you were still alive but it was scary. And then after for-bloody-ever, I heard Harry's voice and he said he's got you and that you're okay, I could've kissed Lockhart right there- not really, no way, bleurg! You were crying so hard when I saw you.. what happened in there, Ginny? You'll tell me all about it when you wake up, won't you? I'll tell you what happened when you were in there, been a while since we exchanged any bedtime stories, eh? 

Why did you write in that diary, Gin? A diary that writes back, is that the creepiest thing on earth, or what?! You could've written to me, you know. You used to tell me everything. I can't believe you kept something so big from me! I'm not mad at you, don't worry, I'm just- I guess I've been a bad brother, haven't I? If I'd paid more attention to you, none of this would have happened. But that's going to change, I swear, I'm not losing you again. But I've got to go now, Mum and Dad are still here and they're looking for me. I'll leave this letter and the one I wrote yesterday on your pillow so you can read them when you wake up, okay? Reply, if you want to, I'll be your diary now, a non-evil one this time! 

Welcome back, little sister, and this is the last time I'm ever playing hide-and-seek with you again, hear you me! 

Love, Ron. 


End file.
